I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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