I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
