i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
