I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
