My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
