Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
