What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
