Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
