Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i wish my penis had a tongue
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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