It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
