Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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