A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
