...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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