Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Randomize
