I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
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