He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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