Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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