my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
