then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
