My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
