but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
