I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
