Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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