I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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