He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Randomize
