Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
