I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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