I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize