Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
