If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
