He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize