he shaved USA in his pubs
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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