quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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