john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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