Do you still have your period?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
