Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
