I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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