How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
