Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
