that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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