apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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