How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
