every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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