Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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