I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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