so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
