i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
