I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You took a bar mat shot.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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