Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
