How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so let's talk penis.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
