We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
