The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
