found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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