I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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