I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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