dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
