My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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