Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
